Taken Some Bad Times
by Halawen
Summary: Spinner finds Clare working at a strip club & he is shocked. But why is she working there? She should be in London, U.K. at a job she loves so what is she doing back in Toronto in a crappy apartment and a crappy job? Can Spinner, Emma, Fitz, Owen, Lucas and Adam find out what or who she's running from? Read A/Ns please. 2 shot. Drama, suspense & fluff partially A/U future fic
1. I'm Left with Only Tears

**This will be a 2 or 3 shot filled with drama, fluff and suspense!**

 **Legal: I own nothing but the idea.**

 **All the many important things to know before reading :**

 ***This is a partially A/U future fic**

 ***Clare is 24, Owen and Fitz are 25, Spinner and Lucas are 29 and Emma is 27**

 ***Spinner and Emma are married with a four year old son**

 ***Spinner, Lucas, Fitz and Owen are all cops with the Ontario Provincial Police**

 ***Clare's parents no longer live in Toronto**

 ***Clare did date Eli on and off throughout high school but never had sex with Drew and was never pregnant**

 ***Clare did have cancer and has been in remission and was dating Eli at the time**

 ***Clare did not have a co-op in high school and never interned with Asher**

 ***Adam did not die he lives in Ottawa**

 **I think that does it the rest is explained in the story**

 **Ch. 1 I'm Left with Only Tears**

 **(SPINNER)**

"That was a great dinner I love that restaurant," Emma smiles linking her arm with mine as we leave the restaurant.

"Yeah we should eat there more often although it will probably be another three months before we get another date night," I laugh as we begin walking back to the car.

"Maybe we can convince my parents to watch Nikolas again next week," she says.

It's our first date night in months between our four year old and the crazy hours with our jobs. It's also very busy downtown and the only parking I could find is across from a strip club. I unlock the car and Emma gets in but something catches my eye. A woman under the streetlights in the alley behind the club, she seems familiar somehow but I can't place her. I squint my eyes and look at her, trying to place her, searching my memory for her face. Emma beeps the horn so I'll get in the car and the woman looks right at me.

"Clare?" I whisper when I see her face in the light.

"Spin stop looking at the pictures of strippers on the building and get in the car," Emma tells me as the woman goes back inside.

I get in and start driving us to Emma's parents I don't tell her about Clare because I'm honestly not sure that it was Clare. We get to Spike and Snake's house and Nik is still awake and playing with Jack. We thank them for babysitting and get Nik in the car and he falls asleep on the drive home. I put Nik to bed when we get home and then join Emma in bed. She has to take Nik to daycare before she goes to work at nine and my shift starts at eight. I fall asleep without much trouble but I dream about Clare all night. I get up and get my uniform on, grabbing all my stuff.

"Have a good day Buddy," I say to Nik tousling his hair as he eats his cereal.

"Bye Daddy."

"I'll see you tonight," I tell Emma stealing her lips for a kiss before I go.

"Aren't you going to eat breakfast?"

"No time I need to get to work," I reply grabbing my coat and leaving the house.

I drive to the station and go to my desk, I'm early for my shift but I want to know if that was Clare. I run a background check on her but I don't find all that much. She was living in London and about three months ago she moved back to Toronto. I don't see any employment or a current driver's license but I find an address it's in a really bad part of town though. Knowing that she's recently back in town and knowing that clubs like the one I'm sure I saw her at last night don't keep employment records I decide to go there tonight.

"You're here early," Lucas comments coming in and sitting at his desk across from mine.

"Had something to do; are the junior partners here yet?" I question nodding to the empty desks on the other side of his and the other side of mine.

"In the locker room they'll be out soon," he replies.

Owen and Fitz come out and sit at their desks a moment later. I know that they would know Clare since they went to DeGrassi at the same time she did but I don't want to say anything until I know it's Clare. After some paperwork from other cases Owen and I go on patrol. As soon as my shift is over I call Emma and tell her I need to finish some paperwork, I hate lying to her but if I tell her I think I saw Clare at a strip club and I'm going to find out she'll want to come.

I'm out of uniform now so the bouncer at the door lets me in as soon as I pay the fee. I find a table near the stage but not too close and order a beer when the waitress comes. I watch one stripper after another come on stage but don't see Clare and I'm starting to think I was imaging things. I set down my beer and get up to leave as another dancer is announced under the name of Bubbles. I look over my shoulder and stop dead in my tracks, it's Clare! I haven't seen her in years but I know it's her; she looks just the same just a little older than when I last saw her. I watch her dance a little but I'm watching the men in here drooling over her more than I'm watching Clare. When she gets off stage I go to the door marked **Dancers Only**.

"Whoa Buddy you can't go in there can't you read dancers only," the bouncer says tapping the sign on the door.

Just then another dancer comes out of the door and I hear Clare saying she's going out for some air. I nod to the bouncer and quickly exiting the club. Walking quickly around the corner I see Clare standing with her back to the street and wearing a coat over her costume.

"What the hell are you doing working in a place like this?!"

Clare jumps and spins around, she looks surprised to see me and then guilty.

"I needed a job," is all she says.

"You sure as hell didn't need a job here," I reply.

"I needed a job and this was all I could find."

"This i…" I begin when the door opens and a bouncer peeks out.

"You have a private dance," he tells Clare.

"I'll be right in," she tells him.

"Like hell you are," I growl and the bouncer opens the door a little more to look at me.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"I'm the cop who's quitting for her," I inform him.

"She can't just quit."

"I can have a hundred cops down here in five minutes looking over every inch of this club unless you go in and tell your boss that she's done."

The bouncer just sort of looks at me before he closes the door to go back inside, when the door closes I take Clare's hand and start walking back to my car.

"Spinner what are you doing? I need a job and where are we going?"

"I have to get home and I'm taking you somewhere I know you'll be safe and won't run until we can talk. If you needed a job so bad that you were working in a strip club something bad must have happened," I comment opening the passenger door of my car for her.

"My apartment is just a couple blocks away," she says as I begin driving.

"Yeah I know where your apartment is and I don't think it's safe."

"How do you know where I live?"

"After I thought I saw you last night I did a background check."

She huffs a little but doesn't say anything and we spend the rest of the short drive in silence. When I park outside of the row house she looks at me. I get out of the car and open her door taking her by the arm and up to the front door ringing the bell.

"Hey Spin what's…" Owen begins and then notices who I'm with, "Clare!"

"What?" Fitz asks and then comes to the door opening it and looking at her.

"Hey she needs a place to stay tonight can she stay here? I'd take her to my place but we don't really have any room for her and I need to get home and tell Emma everything," I inform them quickly.

"Yeah of course she can stay the night here," Fitz says and Owen nods opening the door so she can come in.

"Bring her to the station tomorrow," I tell them and look at Clare. "If you left anything at the club write it down I'll send an officer for it tomorrow."

She nods and walks into the house; I wave to them and drive home. Nik is asleep when I get home but Emma is awake and reading in bed.

"That must have been a lot of paperwork," Emma comments.

"You remember Darcy's little sister?"

"Yeah a little," she nods.

"I found her working at a strip club, something's wrong Em I feel it in my gut."

 **(FITZ)**

Owen and I stand there staring at Clare for a moment. Not sure what's on Owen's mind but I'm shocked that she's in our house and I'm seeing her after all these years. She looks just the same as I remember, same perfect heart lips and captivating baby blue eyes, same cherub face and voluptuous curves all of which gives her an ethereal beauty beyond any other woman I've ever seen. And yet there's a sadness and fear in her that I've never seen before. My instinct is to hold her, to shield her from anyone and anything trying to cause her harm and keep her safe. However as I haven't seen her in about seven years I don't think I should just pull her into my arms.

"Umm can I borrow some clothes? Spinner kind of took me from work without letting me grab my stuff and wouldn't take me to my apartment," she tells us.

"I can't believe you were working in a strip club," Owen comments and Clare bites her lip.

"I'll get you something to wear," I tell her smacking his arm the abrupt remark.

"Thanks," she replies softly.

"Uh I'll go make up the den for you," Owen says following me upstairs so he can get sheets.

"How could she work at a strip club? Last I heard she graduated Columbia 3rd in her class and with honors and all kinds of other things."

"I don't know but she wouldn't be working at a strip club if something really bad hadn't have happened. It had to be more than just needing money," Owen remarks.

I go into my room to get something for Clare to wear and Owen goes to the linen closet. After some debate I get her one of my t-shirts, which hopefully fits over her breasts, and I grab a pair of sweat shorts with a draw string. I pass Owen when I come down the stairs as he sets the bedding in the den.

"Here I think these will fit," I tell Clare handing her the clothes. She smiles and takes her coat off revealing a flimsy silk robe. I can see that she's not wearing a bra just the robe and I really hope something else.

"There's a washroom behind the kitchen you can change in there," I tell her.

"Thanks," she nods walking back there.

Owen and I sit down in the living room and Clare comes out of the washroom a moment later putting her robe over a chair.

"Okay so what the hell?" Owen asks and Clare looks at us.

"What do you mean?" She asks.

"When did you get back? Why are you working in a strip club?" I question and Owen nods.

"I moved from London almost three months ago," she responds sitting on the sofa.

"To work at a strip club?" Owen asks.

"I needed a job."

"And you couldn't find a better job than a stripper?" I query.

Clare huffs a little and looks down at her hands, "I needed something that wouldn't ask a lot of questions and could pay cash."

"You make it sound like you're running from something," I remark.

"I'm tired where's the den?" She inquires totally completely avoiding my comment.

"It's this way," I reply standing up and motioning in the direction of the den. I start walking to the den and Clare follows me. Owen made up the daybed for her already so she can go right to bed. "My room is the second door on the right upstairs, if you need anything at all come get me," I tell her.

"Thanks Fitz," she says softly.

I give her a smile and leave the room closing the door behind me. When I get back to the living room Owen is still sitting there but he has his phone out to call someone, when he sees me he puts it on speaker.

"Hey Owen what's up?" Drew's voice asks from the other end of the line.

"Did you know Clare was moving back to Toronto?" Owen asks him.

"Uh yeah Adam mentioned something about it a couple of months ago I think. Why?"

"Did he also tell you she's on the run from something and currently working at a strip club?"

"No way Clare would not work at strip club," Drew argues.

"She is Spinner found her there and brought her here because he didn't want her to go back to her apartment. We tried to ask her what was going on but she evaded the question."

"That sounds like Clare," Drew replies.

"Yeah well maybe you ought to talk to Adam because I doubt she told him what's really going on."

"Yeah I'll call him tomorrow," Drew says and hanging up.

"We should get to bed," Owen says.

I nod but I'm not very tired I really just want to know what's going on with Clare. I go to bed anyway but toss and turn for a long time before falling asleep. When my alarm goes off the next morning I feel like I barely slept because I didn't. I get up and the first thing I do is go downstairs to check on Clare. I knock on the door softly and open it a crack, her eyes open when I peek in.

"Spinner wanted us to bring you to work and we have to be there at eight," I inform her.

"We need to go by my apartment so I can get clothes," she says.

"I'll go tell Owen to hurry so we have time to swing by your place," I reply and close the door again.

I go upstairs and remind Owen that we need to go to her place so he has to hurry. We get dressed and ready as quickly as we can and then we all take Owen's car and she gives us directions to her apartment.

"What a crap-hole," Owen exclaims when we pull up to the building.

"I didn't have much of a choice," Clare says quietly as she gets out of the car.

"We'll go in with you," I tell her and Owen nods.

We follow her to her apartment and she unlocks the door. It's a small one bedroom apartment with hardly anything in it.

"You've been here three months and you don't have any furniture?" Owen questions.

"I haven't had money to buy any," she says quietly and walks into the bedroom.

Owen and I look around the apartment, there's nothing in it, no TV, no table. There's not even dishes and when I look in the cupboards and fridge there's barely food. Clare comes out of the washroom a moment later, dressed in jeans and t-shirt. We get back in Owen's car and drive to the station.

"When did you two become cops?" Clare asks when we pull up to the station.

"I took my GED and then went to the academy almost five years ago," I tell her.

"I did two years of JC before going to the academy," Owen answers.

"Making up for past sins?" Clare comments with a slight sarcastic voice.

"Yeah sort of," I smile.

We walk into the station and Spinner is already here. We leave Clare with him and Owen and I go to the locker room to change.

"You don't look like you slept much, either of you? Late party at your house last night? Why wasn't I invited?" Lucas jokes.

"Spinner showing up with Clare at our place last night was not a party," Owen replies.

"Who's Clare?"

"Clare Edwards, she went to DeGrassi," I inform him.

"The name sounds kind of familiar, why'd he bring her to you?"

"She needed somewhere safe to sleep. He found her working at a strip club, she's running from something we just don't know what," Owen says closing his locker and the three of us go out to the bullpen.

 **(CLARE)**

"So what do you think?" Emma asks.

"It's great but I can't afford it," I reply after looking through the apartment.

"Spinner and I will pay the deposit and the first month," Emma tells me.

"Are you sure?"

"We've already talked about it; we don't want you living in that apartment anymore. This one isn't very big but it's a lot safer and it's furnished so you don't need to buy furniture."

"Thank you that's incredibly kind, I'll be happy to babysit whenever you need one," I say hugging her tightly.

Spinner had an officer go to the club to get all my stuff this morning while I was still at the police station. It was a little awkward hanging out at a police station all day but Spinner, Owen and Fitz wouldn't let me leave. I talked to Lucas for a while after Spin and Owen went on patrol. I found out he sees Izzy several times a year and Izzy and Mia live in New York now. I talked to Fitz for the most part, heard how he thought he could do some good as a cop. He and Owen joined the academy at the same time and when they graduated they rented the row house together to save money.

When Lucas and Fitz had to respond to a call they had another officer watch me at Spinner's desk until he and Owen returned. A couple of hours ago Emma came to the station, she took me to dinner and told me she'd spoken to Peter and there was a job for me at The Dot if I wanted it. Just a waitressing job nothing glamorous but the hours were flexible and the pay was decent plus I also get tips.

"Fitz and Lucas will take you to your apartment so you can get all your stuff. You won't be able to move in here right away but the manager is a friend of mine, you should be able to move in here in a couple of days and until then Owen and Fitz say you can stay with them," Emma tells me.

"Everybody's going through so much trouble. I appreciate it all but it's an awful lot of fuss to get me out of a bad apartment."

"It's not just to get you out of the apartment we want you to be safe Clare," Emma smiles. "Let's go downstairs and you can fill out a rental application," Emma comments putting her hand at my back and we walk down to the manager's office. "She likes the apartment," Emma tells the manager.

"Great you'll need to fill one of these out," the manager says handing me an application. I begin filling it out and then look up at her when I get to the question asking if I've ever broken a lease.

"I broke the lease on my flat in London. I went for a job and it didn't work out I had to come home when my work visa ran out," I tell her.

"That's no problem, have you broken any other leases?"

"No never," I reply and fill out the rest of the application handing it to her when I'm finished.

"Good it will take a couple days to process but there shouldn't be any problems getting it through," she tells me and I shake her hand before Emma and I leave.

Emma takes me back to the station and we tell them about the apartment. Fitz and Lucas take me to my apartment and I pack up what little I have there. The lease at this place is month to month so I'm not really breaking it. When we have my stuff we go to Fitz and Owen's place and they bring my stuff in.

"We have to go back to the station for a short time, stay here," Fitz says.

"I will, thanks for getting my stuff," I smile hugging them both before they leave.

I don't have much to do so I sit in the living room and watch TV. After watching for a little while I go to the kitchen to get something to eat. I start making myself a snack when my cell rings, I look at the display and when I see that it's Adam I answer.

"Hi Adam."

"You're working at a strip club?"

"I was Spinner made me quit I'll be working at The Dot now."

"I thought you left London to take a journalism job in Toronto?"

"London Just wasn't working out any more," I reply.

"You always told me you loved London. Does this have to do with the guy you were dating?" Adam questions.

"I just wanted to come home what is so wrong with that?"

"Nothing but you left a job you like, in a city you love to come home and work in a strip club. So what happened?"

"It was a bad breakup and I wanted to come home. I hear Owen and Fitz coming in I have to go," I tell Adam.

"Okay I'll talk to you later and I'm coming down this weekend," Adam says before hanging up.

Owen and Fitz come in with dinner and we sit down in the living room to eat since they don't have a dining room table.

"So you start work at The Dot tomorrow," Owen comments as we begin eating and I nod.

"It's not so bad," Fitz says and he is speaking from experience.

"Yeah I'm sure the biggest problem you'll have is being hit on by the teenage guys," Owen remarks and Fitz smacks him. "What it's true," Owen replies and I laugh.

We eat and watch TV and the guys clean up. After dinner Fitz gets me a towel so I can take a shower. Wanting to avoid questions I go to the den and get in bed watching TV on my phone until I fall asleep.

… _I walk through the dark house, turning on the light in the room when I'm grabbed from behind! I'm slammed against the wall and a hand around my throat squeezing tightly. I struggle to breathe, grasping at his hand, clawing at it with my nails but he's still squeezing and I feel the life slowly being drained from me. I'm going to die! My heart pounds with terror but I can't scream as he's squeezing all the air from me. "I told you if you left me I'd kill you Clare!"…_

"Clare. Clare wake up," Fitz's voice urges shaking me and my eyes shoot open. I'm breathing hard, crying and shaking slightly. "It's okay it was just a nightmare," Fitz says brushing a curl from my face.

"Must have been a bad one you were screaming in your sleep we heard you all the way upstairs," Owen comments.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you," I apologize.

"It's fine don't worry about it. Your voice sounds a little scratchy, probably from all the screaming. I'll get you some water," Owen tells me turning to walk to the kitchen.

"Are you okay can you get back to sleep?" Fitz asks.

"Yeah I'll be alright, I'm sorry I woke you both."

"It's okay do you want to tell me what the ream was about?" Fitz prods but I shake my head.

I don't want to talk about the dream or who it was about, I don't want to think about him at all.

 **Update is tomorrow and we find out who Clare is running from.**


	2. Keep it all Inside

**DeGrassi Saviors Website News:**

 ***Check out the home page for a new Christmas poll.**

 ***The polls on my page have come down the winning stories were** _ **Don't Drink the Punch**_ **and** _ **Naughty Time in the Lingerie Shop**_ **. The Winning Couples for Christmas shots were Clare/Dallas and Clare Bianca. Remember that I can't guarantee that any shots will go up over Christmas break as I don't know how much time I will have. If they don't go up over Christmas then I'll probably do a Christmas in July.**

 ***My January and February writing calendars are up on my page. March will go up after one shot month.**

 **Ch. 2 Keep it all Inside**

 **(CLARE)**

"You know it makes the kids nervous when you come here for lunch," I comment handing Lucas the bag with their sandwiches.

"Good it will keep them in line," Lucas smirks.

"So we'll see you at our place tonight?" Fitz asks hopefully and I smile.

"I'll be there, so will Adam he's coming down for the weekend," I reply. Fitz grins and they leave the café and every teenager in the place let's out a sigh of relief.

I've been working at The Dot for a month now, it's not the greatest work but it's not too bad. I moved into my new apartment a couple of days after filling out the application. I have a standing babysitting engagement for Nikolas every Wednesday night so Spin and Em can have a date night or just get out for a bit. I met Nikolas when I went to their house for dinner. He's absolutely adorable and I love babysitting for him. I've become pretty good friends with Lucas, Owen and Spinner but I'm probably closest with Fitz. He and I spend a lot of time together, alone and with the others. Even though I love my new apartment I still spend a lot of time at Fitz and Owen's house.

"You know he's totally into you," Meghan comments. She's a senior at DeGrassi this year and works at The Dot after school and weekends, and occasionally like today she works during the lunch rush since she has a spare after lunch.

"Fitz and I are complicated," I reply.

"He's super sweet, he beams when he sees you and he looks super-hot in that uniform just how is that complicated?" She retorts.

"It's a long story involving high school drama. I'm going to go do inventory call me if you need help out here," I tell her.

She nods and I go to the back to take inventory. I've become kind of an expert at evading conversation. Anytime anyone asks me about London or why I left or why I broke up with my ex I dance around it and steer the conversation in another direction. I've done my best to just not think about it and during the day when I'm busy I'm pretty good at it but I still have nightmares nearly every night. I wake up screaming, panting for breath, crying, sweating and shaking. It's become my routine to shower after the nightmares, sit in the shower and just let myself cry. Then I get up and usually just come into work so I've been scheduled on opening shifts lately, I sometimes arrive even before the bakers. Typically I start the coffee and just sit in the dark café sipping coffee and avoiding thought all together.

My shift is over at one and I drive home to meet Adam. We've been talking on the phone a lot but he hasn't been able to come down to Toronto until now because of work. He's staying at my place all weekend and I haven't seen him in almost four years because I've been living in London. He flew out to visit a couple months after I moved there but that was it, I haven't been back to Toronto in a long time since I no longer have family here.

I get home and change out of my work clothes just as there's a knock on the door. I check the peephole and knowing it's Adam I let him in. He sets down his stuff and we hug tightly.

"Man it's been ages, seeing you through a computer screen of video chat is just not the same," he says looking me over.

"I know but at least you're only four hours away now instead of an ocean away," I comment.

"Yeah I wish I could have come earlier but works been crazy between the two radio stations I work at I always have a shift and it's hard to schedule time off at both."

"Well we have the whole weekend, sorry I don't have any better accommodations than the living room."

"The sofa is fine, when are we expected at Fitz's place?"

"Not until six although I told Fitz and Owen I'd pick stuff up and go over to set up since I'm off work first, and I have a key."

"They gave you a key?"

"Yeah just in case I needed it, and for emergencies," I reply.

"Yeah, so how's working at The Dot?"

"Not so bad actually I thought it would feel weird but I'm not the oldest person working there and I don't work the front all that much anyway."

"Have you given any thought into looking into a journalism job?" Adam inquires and I shake my head.

"I'm just not ready to get back into journalism it's all just been tainted," I reply.

"You could freelance or write for a magazine," Adam says.

"I'll think about it," I tell him with a sigh.

"If not journalism then writing in general, you're an amazing writer Clare you always have been. I'd hate to see you give up on it completely because of one asshole," Adam encourages.

"I have missed writing, maybe I'll do some writing soon," I tell him and he grins.

Wanting to steer the subject away from me I ask about him, his parents and even Drew. After talking for a couple of hours we decide to go pick up everything for the party. It's Owen's birthday tonight and it happens to be Friday so he's having his friends over, about twenty people all together and mostly cops but those are the people he knows. He and Fitz already ordered everything we just need to pick it up from the various stores. Once we have everything I drive us to Fitz and Owen's place and unlock the door. Adam helps me get stuff set up, I decide it's best if there are clear spaces for everything. It's still fairly warm out so the back porch will be open and there's a door out there straight from the kitchen. Adam and I get a bar area set up and prep some of the food.

When Owen and Fitz get home they greet Adam and start setting up the BBQ. Guests begin arriving and the house and yard are soon buzzing with people and lively with the sounds of music and chatter. I spend most of the party with Adam and/or Fitz but I spend time with Owen, Spinner, Emma and Lucas as well. I know most of the cops that are here as Fitz or Spinner often orders from The Dot but I don't spend much time talking to any of them. I do enjoy the party, socializing and seeing my friends. I also enjoy watching Fitz and Adam talking and getting along as adults. He doesn't look much different but Fitz is so very different from the boy that tormented Eli and Adam in high school.

 **(ADAM)**

I get a burger from Lucas who's currently cooking. After putting everything I want on it and getting some sides I sit in the back of the yard on a chair next to Fitz. Clare is currently eating and talking with Spinner and Emma.

"So how's she doing?" I ask Fitz.

"Better I think, I mean she seems happier and all. She's really settled into everything here, her new apartment and working at The Dot, babysitting for Nikolas every week. She's at our place a lot to watch movies or have dinner. She seems generally happy but she always changes the subject if we bring up London or her ex or any of that."

"Yeah she's always been pretty good at avoidance," I nod.

"Do you know anything about the ex she's running from?" He questions after a moment.

"A little, I met him once when I went out there to visit but they weren't dating at the time. His name is Asher Shostak and he's twenty years older than her," I enlighten Fitz and he starts choking on the bite of food he just took.

"He's what?"

"Yeah old enough to be her dad gross right? He'd even been divorced twice. He was her boss at the paper but she already knew about him. He's some big shot journalist and she studied him. I remember when she e-mailed and said she's be working with him she was ecstatic. When I went out there to visit and met him he seemed nice enough but there was something about him I just didn't like. I told Clare this because I could tell that she had a crush on him but she told me I was getting too caught up in the age thing. Have you ever tried to convince Clare that she's wrong? It's next to impossible. Anyway I was only there for a couple of weeks and they weren't dating yet and I never saw him again after that first meeting," I tell Fitz before taking a bite of my burger.

"So when did they start dating?"

"After she'd been working there about six months. We were on video chat and she was glowing she was so happy. Told me all about how he took her to dinner and kissed her. She was giddy, it was cute but I was still worried. Things moved pretty fast, after three months they were living together. The longer they were together the less talked about him though and any time I asked how things were with her and Asher she'd answer fine and change the subject. Then about five months ago she tells me they broke up and she's moving out and then a few weeks later she tells me she's moving back to Toronto. Of course at the time she told me she was moving for a job."

Fitz looks at Clare but he doesn't say anything else. We talk a little more and I mingle with a few other people. I spend a lot of time talking to Emma and Clare and I go back to her place around midnight. It's been a long day for both of us so after making up the sofa for me we both go bed. I'm woken up by blood curdling screams coming from Clare's room. I leap up and run to her room throwing open the door and turning on the light worried that she's being attacked. I heave a sigh of relief when I see that her attacker is only in her mind as she's having a nightmare. I go to her bed sitting on the edge and grabbing hold of her.

"Clare, Clare wake up it's just a nightmare," I tell her urging her to wake up. "Clare it's okay you're safe it's just a nightmare."

Her eyes open as she makes a sharp gasp; she sees me and lets out a breath. She wipes her tears away sitting up a little and grabbing the water from her nightstand.

"I'm sorry I woke you," she apologizes after several sips of water.

"It's okay but by the way you were screaming I thought you were being attacked."

"Sorry I probably should have warned you about my nightly nightmares when you mentioned coming for the weekend."

"You're having these nightly?"

"Yeah pretty much," she nods.

"Are they always about Asher?" I question and she bites her lip looking away so I know I'm right.

"Clare what happened? What did he do to you?" I ask but she doesn't reply just keeps looking at the floor. "He hurt you didn't he?"

She doesn't say anything but when she turns into me sobbing hard I know I'm right.

 **(CLARE)**

"Hey Clare," Fitz smiles walking into The Dot Wednesday afternoon.

"Hi Fitz, hey Lucas you're orders right here," I smile handing them the bag.

"Thanks," Lucas replies handing me the money.

"So are we still on for tonight?" Fitz asks.

"Yeah I'll come over after work and we can leave from your place," I reply. Fitz smiles and they leave to go back on patrol.

"So you and Fitz have plans tonight?" Meghan grins at me when they're gone.

"He's babysitting with me it's not a date," I reply.

"Uh-huh," she smiles.

I shake my head and two people walk in, they look to be in their thirties which makes much older than the usual crowd here. They walk in and sit at a table so I take them some menus. After a few minutes I walk over to see if they're ready to order.

"I'll have the chicken sandwich with a side salad, what kind of dressings do you have?" The woman asks. I start listing off the dressings and sort of absentmindedly looking out the window as I do. And then suddenly Asher appears outside of the window and I freeze, even the breath freezes in my throat. "Miss," the woman snaps with annoyance and I look down at her when I look back at the window Asher is gone. I finish telling her the dressings and she orders then the man orders.

"Are you alright?" Meghan asks when I go back to the counter.

"Yeah I just thought I saw someone," I reply.

"You know you're shift is almost over why don't you go home. I'll put in their order and Stacey will be here any minute," Meghan says.

"Yeah thanks," I smile at her.

I take off my apron and go to the employee lounge to get my stuff. I leave through the front instead of the employee entrance, I look up and down the street but I don't see any sign of Asher. I decide I was seeing things, I've been edge and having nightmares about him nearly every night for over four months hallucinating that I'm seeing Asher is probably just the first sign that I'm losing my mind. I walk to the bus stop and take the bus to Fitz and Owen's place, I don't have my own car but I don't really need one I can get around without one. I don't see Asher, think I see Asher or see anyone that looks like Asher while waiting for the bus or while on the bus so now I'm sure I'm losing my mind.

When I get to Owen and Fitz's place I let myself in with my key and watch TV until Owen and Fitz get home. I greet Owen and Fitz says he's going to hop in a quick shower. Owen microwaves some dinner and then sits down to watch TV with me. When Fitz is ready we leave for Spinner and Emma's place.

"Hey guys Nik's already been fed you can help yourself to anything in the kitchen of course. We'll be home by eleven," Emma says when we come in.

"Yay Clare is here," Nikolas grins running in and holding out his arms so I'll pick him up.

"Hey Nik you remember Fitz?"

Nik looks over at Fitz from my arms and nods.

"Hey Buddy," Fitz grins.

Spinner and Emma say goodbye and leave; I play with Nik in his room while Fitz makes us dinner. I put a movie on for Nik while we eat dinner, after we eat we finish eating we watch the rest of the movie with Nik. Then I clean up and Fitz plays with Nik until it's time for me to put him to bed. When Nik is in bed I read to him, I have to read him two books to get him to settle down. When I come into the living room Fitz is cleaning up the toys. I smile and sit down to help him.

"Have you heard from Adam?"

"He called Sunday night to let me know he was home safe, it was nice to see him and have him all weekend."

"Yeah it was nice to talk to him at the party," Fitz smiles.

I grin just because he's smiling at me and go back to cleaning. Fitz and I reach for the same toy at the exact same moment and our hands touch. I don't pull my hand back I just look up at him and he looks at me, our eyes lock and we begin to lean in. Our eyes start to close, our lips almost touch and then I turn away.

"I'm sorry I just can't, I'm not ready."

"It's okay I'm sorry I know you aren't I shouldn't have," Fitz apologizes.

"Don't apologize I think you're very sweet and I do have feelings for you but I just need some more time before I try another relationship," I tell him. I don't mention that I think I saw my ex today and it has me on edge.

"I'm not going anywhere," Fitz grins and it makes me smile. "You know if you ever want to talk about Asher I'll listen."

"How do you know about Asher?"

"Adam told me at Owen's party," he explains and I nod.

As always I don't want to talk about Asher or think about him so I don't say anything. We finish picking up the toys and then watch TV until Spinner and Emma get home. I tell then Nik is sleeping and we say goodnight then Fitz takes me home.

"Thanks for babysitting with me tonight," I smile.

"Anytime, we'll come and get lunch tomorrow."

I grin and kiss his cheek before getting out of the car. I go upstairs and get ready for bed, reading a little before actually falling asleep only to wake from a nightmare a little after two in the morning. I get up and shower, crying in the shower as I always do. Then I get dressed and call a cab to get to work. It's just after three in the morning, the pastry chefs aren't even here yet but I get out my keys to unlock the back door. I go in and turn off the alarm, making coffee and soon the pastry chefs arrive. When they make fresh cinnamon rolls I snag a hot one and sit in the café. After eating I start opening procedures and soon we have the morning rush of coffee addicts. By nine it's died down and it's time for my lunch. I take off my apron and grab my purse from the employee lounge, I go out the back door intending to walk across the street to the drug store before I return to eat. I don't even take two steps before I'm grabbed from behind and slammed against the wall. I try to scream but the wind is knocked out of me and I struggle to breathe.

"Thought you could run from me?" Asher growls putting his arm against my throat and it becomes even harder to breathe. "I told you that you'd never get away from me," Asher says with a malign grin.

Afraid of what he's going to do fear overtakes me and I get a rush of adrenaline. I bring up my knee and it finds it's mark, Asher grunts and doubles over and I take off running. Down the street, down the block and all the way to the police station Fitz and Spinner work at. I burst through the doors and Spinner sees me first.

"Clare?"

When he says my name Fitz and Owen turn around Lucas looks up. Fitz gets up from his desk and I run straight into his arms. He holds me tightly and I feel safe shielded in his arms.

"Clare what is it?" Fitz asks.

"He's here; Asher is here he attacked me when I left The Dot to go to lunch," I whisper against his chest and Fitz stiffens up.

"Asher, her ex he's here, he attacked her he's here in Toronto," Fitz tells them.

"What's his last name?" Lucas questions.

Fitz tells them Asher's last name and Lucas calls it in. Owen calls The Dot to tell them I won't be back in and Fitz has me sit at his desk to file a report. My hand shakes as I try to write so I tell Fitz everything that happened and he writes it down. There's red marks on my neck and Owen gets pictures.

"We'll take you to the hospital to have you examined and then we'll take you to Fitz and Owen's place. You should stay there for the day, if you need to leave call us," Spinner says when I'm done.

"We'll have a car patrolling around your apartment building and The Dot in case Asher shows up again," Lucas tells me before I leave with Spinner and Owen to go to the hospital.

Other than some light bruising I'm uninjured so Spin and Owen take me to his and Fitz's place. Owen walks me in and tells me to lock the door behind him. I turn on the TV to have some noise and spend the next couple of hours pacing. Emma calls and says she's on her lunch and offers to bring me some I'm not all that hungry but I probably should eat so I tell her that would be good. Fifteen minutes later she's at the door and I let her in locking the door behind her.

"How are you holding up?" She asks handing me a sandwich.

"I'm not sure. I thought I left him behind and now the man I've been having nightmares about is now here."

"You want to talk about it?"

"Not really but I suppose I should."

"It might help," Emma says.

I tell her that Asher was my boss and I knew about him from school and was excited to work with him. How he took me under his wing and taught me so much and I admired him. How we began dating after six months and when I asked me to move in I was happy to.

"At first everything was wonderful, the abuse began slowly. He became controlling but it so subtle and there wasn't jealousy involved at first, when Eli began getting controlling in high school it was usually brought on by jealousy and it was obvious but with Asher it was subtle. I didn't even notice it until looking back on everything. Then one night I was going to go out with a friend from work, Asher told me I couldn't go. We began fighting and he grabbed me by the neck. He just kept squeezing and I passed out," I tell her pausing to take a breath as the memory alone has me terrified. I can feel his hand around my throat; feel the air being drained from me. I close my eyes and take a trembling breath.

"Take your time," Emma says reaching over and taking my hand.

"When I woke up he was raping me. I couldn't do anything but lie there and cry the way he had me pinned. I tried to leave when he was done but he stopped me, pushed me into the wall. He drove us to work the next morning and as soon as he wasn't watching me I went to the cops but they didn't believe me. Asher's a well-known journalist there and he knows a lot of the cops. I made a report and they took pictures of the bruises I had but everyone knew Asher and I were dating so there was no rape test kit. Asher denied all of it, told them we got in a fight and I was trying to get back at him. I broke up with Asher and a friend helped me move my stuff out. I stayed in a hotel until I found a flat but Asher was angry that I moved out and work became very tense. I got moved to another department so I wasn't working directly under Asher anymore. After a few days of being angry he began apologizing, trying to get me back but I told him to leave me alone. When I wouldn't acknowledge him he started stalking me, showing up near my flat and anywhere I was out. One night I came home and he followed me into my flat. When I wouldn't talk he hit me, I fought back and got away but now I feared for my life so I left everything and came back to Toronto."

"Most abusers start slowly or no one would be with them. You fought and you got away that's good it means you're strong and you're going to need that. Spinner and the others will keep you safe and I'm always here if you need to talk."

I thank Emma and hug her before she leaves to get back to work. I watch TV for a while, well the TV is on but I'm not really watching, mostly pacing or nervously cleaning just to be doing something. Fitz returns before his shift is over but I'm happy to see him.

"Where's Lucas?" I ask since Fitz is still in uniform.

"Still on shift, technically so am I but there's only an hour left and Spinner thought I should be here with you. He's patrolling with Spin and Owen," Fitz replies.

"Can I stay here tonight?" I request.

"Of course," Fitz smiles.

"Can you take me to my apartment please so I can get clothes and stuff?"

"Yeah come on," he says. He goes out first and then escorts me to his car.

We drive to my apartment and I see the patrol car. Fitz goes in first and we go up to my apartment. Fitz goes in first and I quickly pack a bag then we go back to his place. Fitz and I go in and he locks the door.

"You can sleep in my room I'll sleep in the d…" Fitz is saying when he's struck on the head and I gasp.

"Have you been cheating on me?" Asher snarls while I'm still looking at Fitz crumpled on the floor. "Cheating on me with a cop you little cunt," he growls grabbing my arm and now my fight or flight instinct kicks in.

"We aren't together anymore let me go!" I his scratching his arm with my nails.

Asher hits me hard and I go down to the floor. I try to get up to run but he kicks me, yelling about me cheating on him. He's kicking so much I can't move or barely breathe, finally he stops but he kneels over me pinning my arms to the floor. I try to kick him or knee him but he's two high my hands won't reach. My heart is pounding so hard it's about the only thing I hear, I'm breathing hard and fast and all I can think he's going to rape me or kill me or both. I begin to scream, as loud as I can hoping to attract attention.

"SHUT UP!" He yells punching me in the face of a couple of times. Everything is blurry; I'm dizzy but still trying to fight.

"Get off of me," I plead desperately.

Asher only laughs in response, he grips my shirt and yanks my shirt rips and tears roll down my cheeks as I'm sure this is it. Asher is going to rape me on the floor of Owen and Fitz's house and then he'll kill me. My eyes close and I begin praying for unconsciousness and then a loud bang startles my eyes open. Asher looks blank and then he falls forward and I start screaming again as he lands on top of me. Asher is pulled off of me and then Fitz pulls me into his lap holding me tightly.

"It's okay you're okay now, you're safe Clare he's dead," Fitz assures me.

I turn into him and sob, gripping his jacket. He still holds me with one arm and uses his radio to call for an ambulance and report the break-in and the shooting. The next several minutes are a blur, all I remember is crying against Fitz's chest but I know the others came along with a lot more cops and Fitz and I were taken to the hospital. None of our injuries are serious so we get discharged after a couple of hours. Fitz goes to the station to give a statement but I'll give mine tomorrow we can't go to Owen and Fitz's place since it's still a crime scene. So Owen takes me to Lucas' place where we're all staying tonight. I just sit there curled with my knees to my chest, my head swims with everything that happened today and over the last few months and the knowledge that Asher is dead.

"Are you okay?" Fitz asks when he gets there.

"No not all but I think I will be, with time and support," I reply taking his hand.

"Like I said I'm not going anywhere," Fitz smiles interlacing our fingers.

I place a soft chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth and lay my head on his chest. He wraps his arms around me and I let out a breath I've been holding since Asher first attacked me. In Fitz's arms I feel safe, I feel loved and I feel like I'm going to have my life back.

 **So because this only needed two chapters tomorrow will be a wildcard shot of my choosing.**


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